Jace is a 4 year old boy. At his center, he is thoughtful, sweet, kind and caring. He will be concerned when others are hurt, display empathy when he has hurt others, and is affectionate and loving.
There is another side of Jace. A side I really don't understand. I know bipolar can't be diagnosed this young, but he has so many traits already.
1. He has triggers.
I took him to a therapist, and the therapist asked me to identify triggers. I tried but couldn't come up with any that session. His advice was to make a calm space for Jace and try and help him calm down when he's at an anger level of 60 on a scale of 1-10. I've been trying to do that, and I've realized Jace is never at a 60. Jace goes from 1-10 in seconds......when he's triggered.
This week it was taking a nap. He had the stomach bug and was up until 2AM waking up at 7. When it was time for a nap, he flew into an immediate rage. He throws whatever is in his hand, and makes it his mission to purposely start breaking anything in the area.
We have a new door (without a hole) and I told him his two choices. TAke a nap with me, or go to his room with the door locked. He raged further, so I followed through with the consequence. The minute he would stop raging I opened the door to reward the behavior I wanted to see. When faced with his two options again, he chose to rage once more and the scenario was repeated until he finally gave in and did actually take a (much needed) nap.
This is an obvious trigger. There are some days, I don't know the trigger. It may be Ashlynn has a toy he feels he is entitled to. Other days, he would care less she has it.
Some days it might be we have to get in the car to pick her up from school, other days he could care less. Either way, the result is always the same....utter and total rage.
Sometimes I do have a reward that is so juicy it will curb the behavior, like jetskiing. Though it is difficult, he does and can curb his behavior to get the reward.
Because of this we have a color clip system like they do in school to reward the behavior....and I did reward it, Saturday...only for him to rage on Sunday like it never mattered. There has to be some consequence, but consequences do nothing to change his behavior. Taking away priveleges, though upsetting, are never enough to change his behavior, but only serve to throw him into a greater rage.
Applying consequences that he hates are never effective. For example, he's scared of the dark. When we threaten to lock him in his room with no lights, he is scared, but still rages. Once in there, he cries that he's scared.
He presumably likes his toys, but will not stop throwing them at the door, so we have all of his toys now out of his room and any furniture, as he seeks to destroy it as well. Even when he is told he will get it taken away if he throws it, and even though he cries in regret afterward, it is not enough to make him NOT throw the toy.
I don't know what to do. I guess I'll make another appointment with the counselor...that's a start at least.
I have to figure this out before it's too late. I have to help my baby, and he's only 4 years old :(
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