You're going into 7th grade this year Jace! You're getting so grown up and I'm seeing more of your personal values and work ethic shine through. It's so fun to see the person that you are becoming, but also the person who you ARE.
You are VERY aware of adult things now. You're curious and have a lot of questions and observations.
I'm sorry I don't blog about you as much, but trust me I make sure to share your stories with family. I decided to go through my text messages and pull snippets of this last year.
2022 was a pretty hard year because Daddy had one of the worst manic episodes he's ever had. I hope and believe you know that's not really daddy, but he did break your heart during this one. You even said those exact words to your friends one day. It's important to be understanding of mental illness, but even more important to know you can love and have empathy for someone but do so with STRONG boundaries that still protect you. I was forced to do that by taking out a protection order and having police ban him from our house until he got help.
During this time, the police escorted him to pick up some things and I wrote
2-22-23
"When Cody came with the police escort to pick up more stuff he completely unplugged the internet. Our internet is more complicated than just one modem because we need it to be fast to work for both of our jobs telehealth wise if needed at the same time.
Our neighbor is a man named Nester who works for Century Link. During this episode Cody called him over to figure this out and Nester set ups this top modem called EERO that feeds into the modem on the bottom. Jace re-hooked EVERYTHING back up and when I asked him how he did it he said, "well unlike dad I actually listened to everything Nester said." haha and that is ONE snippet of what it's like raising our father."
In one text thread to Jeff and Kris, I titled it "Adventure in raising a Baskall."
4-16-2023
My tire got a flat and luckily I was with Cody this weekend at a hotel so put on the spare but in the process Jace learned how to check tire pressure with the tire pressure took and was literally enamored. He smiled at it and told me wow, I just really like this tool! I was like, "oh buddy, what kind of DNA was woven into your blood?" And he still smiled was like no, it's just really great because you don't have to rely on electronics which can fail or might be wrong....which only made me laugh more! Dad I don't know if you can see it, but it's literally like talking to a 4ft version of you sometimes."
6-14-24
I love you dad. I'm the "crazy" person now I once thought you were it makes me so happy I can talk about these things with you. So many people are alone and have no one who understand, but I have YOU and I never feel alone in being "awake." Jace is currently telling a friend on his video game that his mom has an "off" day and is obsessed with conspiracies. haha. Give it 40 years...he'll be on board."
Dad "What can I say!"
Me: You don't have to say anything. Just know there's a piece of you in everything I do. Love you.
7-15-24
Had a conversation with Jace tonight with suggestions from Miranda....not just about Ash but Cody. Last night, they were playing Magic and Jace told Cody that when he was sick, Cody told him to sort the cards in a weird way that didn't make sense.....and Cody looked up at Jace pained visibly, and said, "I don't remember saying that to you, but I'm so sorry I did and I'm even sorrier you remember it."L
Jace we had a talk about the word "stigma" and what disability is and h ow honestly most people on my bipolar TikTok don't hold a job because they are on disability. You asked me what that meant which lead to me talking about Ashlynn and Matthew and people with developmental disabilities and me telling you at some point if I'm ever never able to care for Ash she'll have to go to a home....and this resolve came over your face as you asked "What? What do you mean? Like a nursing home?" And I said, "yes, but for like people with disabilities."
Do you know what you said? You said, "NO. That will NEVER happen on my watch." I explained it wasn't your responsibility to take on and as I did so you kept shaking your head until you could speak and said, "No. That's MY sister. I will NEVER let that happen to her on my watch."
I was so impressed by you. Just newly 12 years old understanding adult issues of our time. I do want you to know though, even if you never take on Ashlynn for WHATEVER reason, it truly was NOT your responsibility and you should never feel guilty for any decision you might have had to make.
7-24-24
Pretzel is in heat and Dune is crazy to say the least. I wrote this to my mom and dad, "Pretzel is in heat and Dunie is so crazy he's literally not eating. It's bad. Jace knows he's "girl crazy" and gets the jist...but he told me today I think he's just girls crazy and wants to save the food for Pretzel. His heart is so sweet. That's always how you were dad! You checked once and then twice and then three times to make sure we got the second helpings etc if wanted it before you."
Dad: "He will be a good man!"
Me: "Just like you dad. Love you"
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