You are always trying to be so strong and so tough. I don't know why you are like that because you have seen men be vulnerable and I have encouraged you to be vulnerable with me. Maybe one day you will tell me.
This is the third day of another round of fevers and after your bath tonight you broke down and cried. My heart was breaking as you said your "neck" hurt so bad and you didn't want to cough or be sick anymore.
This year, March 2019 a "bomb cyclone blizzard" hit Colorado. In some areas, wind speeds hit 100mph. You didn't seem enough to merit a visit through that weather to the urgent care so we kept you home and you drank fluids and rested.
Tonight as you were crying, I told you...begged you...to come get me if you are feeling sick. Last night I woke up at 3AM, possibly from you coughing or going to the bathroom and when I went to check on you with my tired and blind eyes that can't see I was searching your bed and you said sweetly, "hi mommy."
You were burning up with fever. I ran to get a cold wash cloth and put it on your head while I went back to the kitchen and poured your medicine. Oh Jace! Why don't you come and get me??
I gave you medicine and you went back to bed.
Tonight as I put you to bed, I told you at least five times to wake me up if you are feeling sick. It's okay. I won't get mad. I want you to! You said you would unconvincingly. I urged you more to keep hitting me if I don't wake up. You nodded your head.
Ugh, I hate it when your sick. I love you so much and with kids or anyone really who is sick it's impossible to know what is serious or routine. I love you so much. I pray extra hard on these days. I love you little buddy.
Love,
Mommy
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