I'll love you forever and High Hopes

Daddy is in the hospital again.  It is three days before Christmas.  This time has been better because you have been able to talk to him, but I can tell it still takes a toll on you.  I'm so sorry buddy.  I know how hard this is.  I cry with you. 

You are so resilient though.  Despite this you came home every day last week on a good color for behavior.  I know how hard it must have been.  Tonight  you're growing six year old body snuggled on mine in the fetal position and I smelled your hair and breathed in your goodness.  You're getting bigger and older and I'm not sure when it will be the last time, so I enjoy them as they come and try to live in the moment.

You're favorite song this weekend was Panic at the Disco's "High Hopes" and Jace, if you do anything in this life, listen and heed the words in this song.  My son Jace.  YOU are talented beyond your wild imagination.  Dream and dream big!  Take risks.  Don't be afraid to fail.  Life is a gift and you only get to live once.  Push the limits.  See how much you can achieve!  Truly do what most people fail it and LIVE.  Don't let your past or your hurts determine your future or your perceptions.  Always believe in yourself like I do.  I love you so much.  Love MOM


Mama said
Fulfill the prophecy
Be something greater
Go make a legacy
Manifest destiny
Back in the days
We wanted everything, wanted everything

Mama said
Burn your biographies
Rewrite your history
Light up your wildest dreams
Museum victories, everyday
We wanted everything, wanted everything

Mama said, don't give up, it's a little complicated
All tied up, no more love and I'd hate to see you waiting

Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes

1st Cardboard Challenge

Tonight was your first ever cardboard challenge.  You asked me to sign up for the club,a nd you conceptualized the idea yourself.  Daddy did his best to help you construct your design.  You used your snap circuits to help wire up a motor and your build a train that could move with a switch. 

When the judges came by you were nervous and stammered.  It was so cute because you are usually one confident little guy. As we encouraged you from behind, you gained confidence and slowly started to tell them about your creation. I knew when the judge told you to submit again next year that you weren't a contender, but I was soooo proud of you for being one of the youngest kids at the school who was inspired to want to participate. You're an engineer.  You always have been. This was the perfect event for you.

Your dad saw the list of contenders after the judging was over and knew you weren't on it, but we went to the ceremony anyway. You were tired but you waited with anticipation and was just so sure you were going to be hailed the winner.

As the names were read and the kids who won cheered, you started to slump your shoulders down.  At the end of the ceremony, your shoulders were completely hunched over, your eyes were red, and if I looked close, there were tears.  You were devastated you had failed.  I hugged you and assured you how proud I was of you.  Your dad did too later at home.  To be the best at anything, you have to fail.  You have to earn anything you do in this life.  You have to be willing to take rejection and then stand up to it and try again.  Though my heart broke for you and your tears and tiny hunched over shoulders, everyone wins is not real life.  It's better to learn it early.

Later that night we were at home and it was time to work on your boat for the Boy Scout Regatta. Seemingly recovered you randomly offered,
"I knew I was going to win mom.  I don't know enough yet and you have to earn it."

Here I had felt so bad for you and desperately wanted to explain to you that this is life, but the experience had already taught you that.  Jace you are brilliant.  You are.  I am your biggest fan.  I believe in your 1000 percent.  Fail forward Jace.  Take those failures and disappointments in life and use them to learn from and then try again and move forward. 

You are destined to be a leader.  A good leader.  A kind leader.  A fair leader. 

Fail forward.  Always keep learning.  Never assume you know it all. Experience everything you can that this life has to offer. 

Love,
Mommy

Do what is hard now, so it's easy later

Dear Jace,
This year you went to Estes Park with the family.  I stayed behind because I had to work.  I could have taken off, but I'm trying to dig us out of debt and I can't do that by taking trips.

I always feel so guilty and worry you will think I never wanted to be with you, or I was never around.  I hope when you are older you realize that couldn't be further from the truth.  I'm going to dig us out of here.  Daddy is sick.  He's not sick right now, but he has a very scary illness and at a moments notice, his brain can get triggered and take him away from us again.  The stress of work makes this worse, so right now I am working and I'm okay with that.  I'm determined to find a way to get out of this paycheck to paycheck mess we are in.

Les Brown says we have to do what is hard now, so it's easy later.  I'm promising you it's going to be easy later.  I'm going to make all your sports games and I'm going to be there for you like I want to be.  Like you deserve. 

I was feeling sad tonight and found this on my computer end table.  It made my night.  Love you little man. 

Love,
Mommy

You never failed. You merely learned

We are 2 weeks in to your first week of school!  You have done so amazingly well! You are motivated to learn, keep coming home with stars on purple (the highest color for behavior) and are taking your work so seriously.

You talked all week about an invention you were making in STEM. You couldn't wait until Friday when you would bring it home and show us your "cup."  When I picked you up today, you said it was a "water bottle" and you tried very hard to make sure you sealed anything that would leak.  I was excited at your ingenuity

Today your brought it home and in the car ride home expressed how you were excited to test it out.  I smiled and agreed.  When I pulled into the drive and opened the garage door, you eagerly raced inside.  It took me maybe two minutes to gather my lunch and work bag and make my way in the door, and in that time you had managed to pour gatorade into your "sustainable water bottle" and it was now leaking all over my living room floor.

As I unknowingly walked into the house, my eye spied the blue gatorade pouring out of your invention and onto my floor and I reflexively yelled, "Jace!! What are you doing??  What were you thinking?"

You tried to fix your error by reflexively turning your invention upside down; but this only further caused all the remaining gatorade to pour out onto our living room floor and rug.

I angrily pulled down paper towels and told your to clean it up, which you dutifully did.  Two minutes later you were out on the back porch in a chair with your head down.  I told you sister to wait inside and came out to talk to you.  I apologized for yelling and asked you why you were so glum.

"I didn't know it would leak like that," you said in despair and tears welled in your eyes.

"Oh Jace, how could you have known?  Every good scientist and inventor has to test their invention.  You didn't have a chance to do that.  I wish you hadn't done it with blue gatorade, but that is what scientists do or they would never know if anything worked!  You didn't fail Jace.  You just learned that this particular design has holes and now you know how to try and make it better."

Your face brightened.  Your eyebrows raised and you seemed to understand.

A Facebook friend reminded me in the comments of a famous Thomas Edison quote

Keep inventing.  Keep dreaming.  Keep putting your dreams into practice.  Fail forward.  Know that any failures are not failures but a lesson.  Keep learning.  You're so amazing Jace.  Always believe that.  

More importantly, be kind.  Keep in mind that your God given talents were given to you to serve God's people.  Always have an attitude and mind for service.  If you do this, not only will you be happy, but you will be prosperous as well.

My son.  My little dude.  My little man.  You are here to change the world for the better.

Love,

Mommy

First Time boating

We were at Adam's Camp this Summer of 2018, and in another post I have yet to outline, you and your sister absolutely LOVE this place.

The morning before the boat ride we had a fun trip with a slide down the mountain at Adam's Camp.  Though you were excited, your mind kept spinning with things you needed to pack for the boat ride that afternoon.  When we got back to the trailer, you disappeared.  A few minutes later you came out with a bag you had prepared ready for the afternoon of boating.  You had thought of everything, including looking out for your sister.  The bag included:

Flashlight
Snacks
Tissues
Compass
Playing Cards
Water
Swimsuits for you and Ashlynn. 

I peeked inside and laughed out loud.  My goodness Jace are you 5 or 55?  Oh how I love you.  What a special person you are. 

The day out on the boat for you was heaven.  The lake in the mountains was not busy and we could let you take the helm.  You put on your serious face and strongly took the wheel while you steered us around the lake. 

You are and have always been a force to be reckoned with.

Love,
Mommy

1st Day of 1st Grade

My baby boy!  How is this possible? Today you started first grade, and today this picture appeared on my facebook memories.

My snuggle bear that is now this big boy ready to take on elementary school!  I wasn't going to buy new backpacks this year, but when you put on that batman backpack, you strutted so proud while musing, "Man, this just feels so good," that I couldn't say no.  You bought a matching batman lunch bag, new clothes, new shoes, new haircut, and you were set.

On the way to school today you excitedly announced while we were halfway there, "Are we there yet because I'm just sooo excited!!"

I'm so glad you love school. You should.  School will come fairly easy to you if you put your mind to it, and your ingenious and inventor mind will be enhanced when you learn to read and write.  The sky is the limit for you my JaceMan.  I'm your biggest fan.  

Love,

Mommy

Bye bye five year old, bye bye.

Jace!  My little dude!  Today you turned six years old!  My goodness how the time has flown.  I used to roll my eyes when my dad would tell me that, but one day you might have kids of your own and you will totally understand!

Today was finally a year we were at home for your actual birthday, and I could hang the balloons in the hallway for you to run through.  You initially looked hesitant and not to excited, but once you ran through those balloons, the smile on your face was instantaneous!  That's what having you felt like Jace.  I was a little hesitant, and probably not to smiley knowing I was about to have a double surgery, but the minute I held your body in mine the smile landed on my face and never left.  You are so, so, so loved my son.  How I love the Earth now since you've been in it.

I could have never known then the little boy you were going to blossom into.  Curious, inventive, strong willed, kind hearted, loving, strong and smart; I can't even begin to touch the surface and tell you how amazing you are.

We bought you a keyboard this year, because you watched the movie Cocoa and was enamored with Miguel, who wanted to be a musician.  My dad and his dad were musicians.  They were so talented.  Self-taught playing the accordian and guitar they didn't read music, but they could jam in perfect harmony.  You have their ear Jace.  You do.  You have so many Baskall talents, my goal is to make your believe you can harness any one of them and become whomever you were destined to be in this world Jace.

Too many amazing Baskalls gave into fear and practicality.  They never lived their dreams, despite having numerous talents beyond measure. You are so many things and can be so many things.  Now YOU have to just have a dream and I will support you 100% in it!

You are:

An engineer

An athlete

A musician

An inventor

A writer

A storyteller

At Adam's Camp this past year, you wrote you wanted to be a construction worker.  I laughed and told you, "Oh Jace.  You can own the whole damn company!  Dream bigger baby.  Dream bigger."  

I know you are the Baskall legacy.  You are the boy who is going to fulfill the American dream for his ancestors, ancestors who fled persecution, worked as indentured servants before earning their citizenship, all in the quest to live the American dream.  Above all though Jace, if you are happy in life, and you are living a life that is both prosperous and of service to others, this will make me and YOU the happiest.  Remember what Ghandi said, "We find ourselves, when we lose ourselves in the service of others."

Love you so much.  

Love,

Mom

An old soul in a 5 year old body

Oh my little boy Jace.  What will I do with you?  Tonight I took you to a tool store called Harbor Freight to get a gift for my dad for father's day and you were like a kid in a candy store!

Playing with gadgets, flashlights, hex keys and wire cutters; you buzzed around the store and couldn't get enough.  As we left you announced, "I know what I want for my birthday!  Tools!"

I laughed.

I bought Daddy a drone this year and he needed a screwdriver.  You happily ran to your very own tool box daddy gave you with your very own tools that Grandpa Baskall gave you and offered up your tool.  It was too big so you ran back and got daddy a smaller one.  You were so proud he used YOUR own tools.

I have said it before but I'll say it again, you're a Baskall!  LOL.  My brother, your Uncle Jeff laughed at my stories of you and said proudly, "We got one!" He sees it too.

I was telling him the most recent story of camping.  We were in a large campground, mostly alone, and a wind storm picked up.  You said you wanted to go back to the trailer.  You are only 5 so I was hesitant but said ok because there was hardly anyone there.  Before you left, you told me you had staked down your chair so I didn't have to worry now!  LOL  Oh Jace, if you only knew your chair blowing away was the least of my worries. It was soo cute how practical you were though!

When we were looking for Father's Day gifts, you had great practical ideas!  You knew Daddy needed a larger generator to run the AC in the trailer, but I told you it was too expensive.  You then said he needed a new hand towel holder for the trailer and strap to hold one of the doors.  I told you that was a great idea but that I thought daddy would want a drone.  

You stopped in your tracks and said,

"But...daddy doesn't NEED a drone.  He NEEDS a hand towel holder and strap for the door."

I couldn't help but laugh.  Man, are you a Baskall.  Daddy hates buying me practical gifts because he says they aren't fun, but he doesn't realize I genuinely LOVE getting practical gifts!!  He doesn't get that things I need ARE things I want!  haha.  It looks like you are the same way!

I couldn't totally NOT be a Baskall for Father's Day so I said he needed new shorts too and went to the men's section.  I was looking at plaid nice shorts but you ran to the basketball shorts and said, "No he needs these because he got oil on his and they stained (true story)."  I was like, 

"Oh yeah you're right and he loves these."  I made sure to get ones with pockets before you said,

"Mom, I'm just a little concerned about the pockets because his phone could fall out."  I pointed to a zippered pocket on the side and you were satisfied.  You are just the best!  Oh how I love you.

The icing on the cake happened Father's Day at Grandpa and Grandma Baskall's House.  It was raining and we had the dogs because we were packed up for Adam's Camp.  Our dog Sahara was afraid of rain and would run away when she heard thunder, so daddy put her in his truck.  A few minutes later you came out to the family room with Sahara and announced that she had jumped out of the truck.  Relieved you had found her I asked her how you knew and you said,

"Oh the neighbor rang the doorbell (all of us didn't hear) and asked if this was our dog because he saw her jump out of the truck.  I told him thank you and I would tell my dad to roll his windows up."

My sister, your Aunt Kris started laughing.  You handled that like a man and you are FIVE!!!  She looked at you proudly and said, "You are such an old soul." 

I'm so proud of you little dude.  Here's a picture from Adam's Camp that same day just for fun and to prove you really are just a little boy still.  You love it there.  

Kindergarten graduation

Jace!!! My amazing son.  I am soo proud of you!  You rose to the challenge of Kindergarten and rocked our socks off!!  You worked so hard completing so much work, and you would tell me when something was challenging and how you overcame that challenge head on.

You learned amazing growth mindset techiques that will only enhance your life as you get older.  You were particularly fond of the phrase, "You make a mistake, and then you make it great," and took it to heart!

I remember in one activity I gave you permission to quit, and you almost did...but then you drew from an internal resolve and strength and persisted.  You told me YOU don't give up and I smiled and knew you were something special.

Beyond the academics, you have an engineer and inventor mind.  I am constantly blown away by your talents.  We went to the museum of nature and science in your last month of Kindie, and instead of being struck by the dinosaurs, mummies, gems, or planets....you buzzed around the museum being amazed and wonder struck by all the buttons, levers, and handles.  The highlight was seeing the see through escalator in motion.  You watched in awe and fascination through the glass as it glided passengers up the incline onto the next level.  I sat back and laughed.  Jace the inquisitor will become Jace the conqueror. 

Despite your gifts with mechanics, your dad and I encouraged you to do well in academics.  I wasn't sure I was getting through to you until I told you one small phrase that seemed to make a big impact. 
"Jace, readers are leaders."

You have an obsession with leaders.  Early on in Kindergarten you came home and asked me if I knew that Mr. May was the boss of the entire school!  I laughed and said yes.  You had a sparkle in your eye as you went on to explain that meant he was in charge of the entire school.   I knew then you were meant to be a leader.  That year a song by Imagine Dragons came on entitled "Thunder."  You LOVED this song.  One line in particular always struck me and reminded me of you,

"Not a yes sir, not a follower, fit the box, fit the mold, have a seat in the foyer, I was lightening, before the thunder."

Yes, this is you my son.  That not a "yes sir" personality is hard to parent, but man do I know it's going to pay off when you're older as long as you keep learning, keep reading, never settle for what you know.  Always know there is something more to learn, to achieve, to work toward.  Never be afraid of failing.  Embrace failure and know that you either succeed or you fail, and each failure only brings you one learning experience closer to succeeding.

Your report card was glowing.  All 3's, which mean A's across the board.  The comment from your teacher telling,

"It has been a pleasure to be Jace's Kindergarten teacher.  He is outgoing, inquisitive, and comes to school excited to see his friends. He is a hard worker and determined to do his best. He takes great pride in his work."

I couldn't be prouder of you little dude.  Love you to infinity and beyond. 

Love,
Mommy

Jet skiing early season 2018, 5 years old.

Meet Stickers!

You got a Gecko and named his Stickers this past weekend!

You were so proud of it and the best part is your engineered a shelter made out of legos and Stickers LOVES it!  

You are such a creative, smart, and inventive boy.  

Learning to whistle

Today daddy asked you to show me your new skill.  That's when you started whistling.  I was blown away! You're only 5 years old!  You're always impressing me with your ability to pick up new skills so easily.  

I love your curiosity.  I love how you are learning to read.  I love that you are rocking at soccer on  your new team with daddy as your coach.  

I'm just proud of you Jace.  I'm so glad you're my son. 

Love,
Mommy

Rocking Kindie: Spring parent teacher

So proud of you little man! You are rocking Kindie!  Reading, writing, math...you are learning it all!  I knew you would rise to the challenge!  Love your big vocabulary and ability to express yourself!

There is on area of reading to work on, but mostly you are kicking ass and taking names.

Daddy took you and Ashlynn to Great Wolf Lodge this weekend to celebrate. Truth be told, we never even looked at Ashlynn's report card. Despite working harder than any other person, she is the lowest and at the bottom of the class.

I know it's hard for you to understand now, but we are so proud of both of you.  You put in less effort and get more results...she put in more effort and gets less.

At any rate, I want you to know how proud I am, and I know in this life, if you just believe in yourself and are willing to challenge yourself, you will be anything you want to be!

I don't want to go to jail!

I talked to your Kindie teacher today, and she told me you had taken a robot letter from class and put it in your backpack.  One of your friend's told on you.  She said when she confronted you, you fessed up to it right away and went to get it from your backpack.  You had major consequences at school that followed over into the next day. 

You usually tell me this stuff too, but today, you didn't.

I had a talk with you after school.   Tonight getting ready for bed, you were crying big tears.  You said it was because you didn't want to go to bed, but usually you don't cry that hard and long over having to go to bed.

That's when I heard this tiny voice.

"I'm scared."

What I asked?

"I'm scared," and you started crying harder.

I scooped you up and hugged and kissed you and asked you why.  You said you were scared because you didn't want to go to jail.  My mind raced back to our conversation and I told you that people who steal go to jail.

I kissed you again and assured you that you were not going to jail.  I told you that you are just a kid, and you are still learning; however, if you steal and you're a grown up, you will go to jail.  I said I was proud of you for being honest even though it was hard and you knew you had done wrong.  My heart was actually filled with so much joy, not that you had made a mistake, but that you were honest, showed remorse, and seemed to have learned a life lesson. THAT made me proud. 

Love you little dude,
You're going to move mountains and change the world for the better,

Love,
Mommy

You know one thing I absolutely love about you Jace?  It's that when you do anything you will put your arms out as though you are flying!  You went skiing last week and even in that video you had your arms out wide embracing the moment.

There are times when you are running downhill after school and you will to it too!  You try and pick up as much speed as possible, spread out your arms and pretend you are flying.  I can see the exhileration in your face.

This past weekend, you learned how to ride a bike with no training wheels.  To be honest, you probably could have learned sooner (you are five), but we never taught you because Ashlynn still can't ride a bike yet without training wheels and we didn't want to crush her.  You were still young though.  Had you asked, we would have let you try.  Today you just took off on Ashlynn's bike.  Daddy had decided to try and teach her without the training wheels.  You wanted to try and it took a few times and then you were off.

Every day now you like pedaling as fast as your legs can take you, even though it's the middle of winter.  I imagine you feel like you are flying, but you can't put your arms out like you usually do.  I watch you whiz around on your bike.  I'm in awe of you.  You have such a natural ability.  I had that too, which is why it's so hard to watch your sister struggle to do anything.  I'm sorry we didn't push you to ride a bike without training wheels sooner.  There is no manual in this parenting thing.

I do love you though so much, and I'm so incredibly proud of you.  You remind me so much of myself, and I don't want you to have the hangups I had from being too sensitive.  I watched a coaching session today by a person named Jay Shetty, and he said that we must change our perspective in order to grow.  Nothing is good or bad, it is the perspective of the experience that makes something good or bad and you can always choose to change your perspective.

When your friends hurt your feelings, or you feel like you are being made fun of, you can always choose to change your perspective.  If you can change the way you look at things, your life will become better. 

I love you little dude.  Always in my heart,

Mom

Natural athleticism

Jace.  My son.  I see so much of myself in you.  Your perfectionism.  Fear of failure.  Natural athleticism.  School is easy.  Love of learning.

There is a saying that when raising a child, you need to raise yourself first.  I think of that a lot.  I think of myself when I see me in you.  I see you believe  you should get things perfect on the first try.  I see you overly critical of yourself.  I see you get your feelings hurt when someone has something negative to say about you.

I promise you I am doing my best to practice what I preach, but Jace I want you to embrace failure!  I want you not to see it as a measure of your ability, but rather a lesson that helped you learn!

I want you to understand you are naturally smart and athletic, but to also know that it doesn't mean you should never make mistakes or fail.  The converse is true! If you are able to learn early that failure is only a lesson in making you better, you will rule this world.  You can be anything you want to be.  That is true of everyone, but for you, you have natural ability and if it is combined with the belief that failure makes you better and if you can learn from mistakes you will be unstoppable....then Jace the sky truly is the limit for you.

Please always consider others in whatever endeavor you choose.  We were born to be of service to others and in service to others so we find our true identity, happiness, and purpose.

Today you learned to ride a bike without training wheels.  You are 5.  Daddy took them off Ashlynn's bike.  She is 8. She can't do it yet, but you asked to try and it took you a couple of turns and you did it.  You fell a few times first.  You were scared you told me, especially when you turned, but you still did it.  You did, and  you took off and flew.

That is a metaphor for life Jace.  Remember that moment of being 5.  You were scared, you were unsure, but the thought of succeeding and riding that bike was exciting and so you tried anyway.  You fell.  You fell a couple times, but you never gave up.....and when you learned to ride without training wheels, the smile on your face spelled a freedom you had never known.  Don't lose that Jace.  That is the power of our natural ability paired with you willingness to try and fail that will NEVER let you down.  Believe in yourself.  I'm so proud of you.  I love you.

Love Mom.

New Star Wars Bike we got you after you learned how to ride Ashlynn's bike

An ode to my little boy

Dancing smile and sparkling eyes

Mischief flickers when I walk by.

Loving hugs, sweet kisses galore

From the boy whom I adore.

Smart and gifted, able and and strong

God given gifts, yet still you look to belong.

Critical and sensitive, smart and brave

Approval and love do you crave.

My little boy growing into a man

For you God has a special plan.

My love for you, strong and true,

Please take it with you in whatever you do.

My little boy, of whom I'm so proud

My love you for you, always strong and loud.